Vibrate Familiarity w/in Me

You vibrate familiarity w/in me
Meant to be like a harmonious hymn
Meet then parted, like a broken invocation
The space between us--I admit I doubted and continued on
Never doubted the feelings, the beginnings of

Those precious moments together
A secret treasure
Fantasy source of pleasure

Surprise me slightly
Dreamed and prophesized of you mightily
Not well enough to know if the ending is happy
Happiness is us together, a family
When you are off rambling alone
I wonder if you fairer better
If thoughts of me blow south
To land upon your island atoll
Difficult to rinse off like salt and sand on your skin

If you question letting me go
I won’t convince you otherwise
Remind you of shadows of what could be
Throw open the curtains of reality
Reality is what we choose it to be
So come back to me
And my love, receive it
Rest and believe in it

Sensing Direction

What happened to me?
That I’d disregard hope given?
Argue the inner spark into submission
Control the spiral of imagination’s desire
Dampen the burning fire
Who is he in me? The secret man in the woman
Lord Fantasy, this restless carefree
Artisan w/unrealized ambition
On the quest, the search for thrills, seeking wisdom
Carefully ponder the passing feeling
Up and down they’re fleeting

In this beginning of unknowns and undecided
Sensing direction, fear being misguided
Along the way of simply enjoying the ride
Slowing down to merge w/ the tide
Ebb and flow is this dance
Grateful for the chance
You came to knock down my walls
Crumbling I panic at the openness
Rush to rebuild the labyrinth fortress
I’ve paused to leave one small gate open
So notice and cherish
I left the glint of hope in

Your wavering my reward

In my tardiness I know you’d be there
Waiting into yourself w/eyes closed
Turning inward into everything
Creatures of routine
Change it for a while and feel a little loss
Each finding freedom in the space between
Finding each other
My soul seeks you out among the multitudes
Intuitively hide from it, like shading your eyes from the sun
There’s no escaping me
Hide inside and come to the end of yourself

When your humility catches up w/ your vain pretense
I already feel your regret
Burning like a middle age fever
(By then my cowboy would have ridden by
Pulling me on his saddle)
So I take the sunset credits rolling
Stash that sunset in my back pocket
Your wavering my reward

The Glen of Me

No choice but to sleep
No choice but to hope in the best
No choice but to work for others and deny myself the rest
The best is to wait
Not force the hand
But if I had the power I’d put my mouth on yours
Breathe into you, make you understand
Close enough to smell the mix of beast w/ human
Take it from there, savoring skin
Let you get as ravenous as me
Surprise you w/piety
Teach you of divine fidelity
Have you be the hunter in the glen of me

Your nice to admire for a while

Your nice to admire for a while, long enough to do the trick
But to really make me tick, let’s be real
These hints that you’re so superior, open my inner umbrella
I’ll outlast the next vanity downpour
Until the Other arrives and finds me in his eyes just fine

Pour salt on my wounds and it tickles
Inflame me w / your lack of substantial response
Keep this up and the warrior paint appears
I’ll take you down like an ancient tree, climb on your trunk
Breathe forest fire onto your cool leaves
Blacken you w/ scars of lightening
Lose your leaves, lose all sense of the season
The reason it all had to end this way
Make you into my campfire
Warm me until the morning and be nothing but the next day’s ashes

Like Jesus I’ll curse the fig tree that refuses to produce fruit or shade me
Useless tree, so full of himself
So sure of his own coverings
I pity your bride unable to really cover
Really be enough comfort to one so clever

School Girl BF

I cherished you like my own self
Adored your quirks, marveled at your uniqueness
Defend you against clueless jerks, while loving your faults w/tenderness
I gladly shared w/you my own lover
Nursed your firstborn as my own
My best friend, co-conspirator
I miss singing w/you most of all
The mt drives to nowhere
Just singing stuck in a cloud of harmony
I miss how you really knew me encouraged the potential in me
I left after your lies, just admit the truth and I’d never leave you
Forever champion you
Lie to me the last time, give me no choice after so many times

Embraces in Dreamtime

Could not live w/in the same proximity
Run everywhere into you in that mountain city
Uproot to another country
You find me in my dreams, in the shadows of my home
I expect to find you at my door if I get up to open it
I expect a long delayed message

The years of estrangement and abstinence mask hidden fidelity
I’m ever faithful to the truth, the effect of you on body memory
I know you act contrary to me, bed everyone in your periphery
Rid yourself unsuccessfully of me

You came into my dream again
Peace between us
I almost expect you to take a plane over the ocean and find my front door
Unlike the many times before
That time and separation might of turned you into a superhero
Confident, whole, forgiven and ready to father
Wishful thinking for familiar reconciliation
The blessings of higher powers have laid their hands and anointed me
I’ve come full circle turned inside out
Find freedom taking responsibility
For my culpability
Rejecting you again in your need

I never loved you, ‘tho I tried, I wanted to
I was young and resented all the times I tried harder than you
Seeped into my whole view, seeped into yours too
Now after looking back, like Zeus and the top ten f/Olympus
Look down on mortals, I can scan through the nebulosity and sympathize
Go back to your need masked by Minotaur disguise
Take your hand lead you out of the labyrinth of your torture
Follow the string and unwind everything
Keep it from spinning out of control, keep us together for our Persephone
Go back to your need, your fear,
Care not only for your body, your hungers to feed or your company
But really attend to your inner journey
Love you in your state of emergency

I didn’t understand the contest of needs
Whose need was more precedent
All childishness, immaturity
I wish I could go back w/recent insight
For one night and sooth your soul
Give up my control
Really love you, love the broken fragments back together
Your lawyer called it a ‘lover’s tiff’ but it was worse
The annexation of a broken generation
I’d go back to a lover’s tiff if you’re willing to resume friendly relations

You were calling for help
I feel your tears through the space
Your soul fingers reach out and find me left handed
Feel the weight of choices on me, the good and bad what we never had
I smell it in the air, aware of peace
Aware for the first time of an inkling of your view
What you might be telling those close to you
How you rationalize abandoning your daughter
How you might poorly comfort yourself
When I’m here and for once fully equipped and willing
To offer you comfort

And our story is unbroken, untold and unfinished
Burning like tectonic plates beneath the surface of our consciousness
Soon eruptions of magma fountains will expand the shorelines
And bridge the gap between us
I’ll never give up on you the way you gave up on me

Dream of healing and what could have been
What’s happening, the beginning of my personal reconciliation
End the cosmic frustration, be this new creation
All these years I’ve processed forgiving you
It took an hour, a drive in the car, a chat w/ a star
To understand I had to forgive myself for turning my back on you
Being together in my dream, finding my true home
Chest on chest, rib on rib, the puzzle pieces reassembled
And all the inner particles regenerate