Then and Now Still

It’s a night full of tears
Gushing wounds of a slain soldier
Last bubbling breaths
Gurgling life fluids
Vacant eyes full of pain
Beyond distain and hate is shame
Just a shame our story
Could have mended
Bridged gaps of mistakes w/space
And recent experience
Could have tried for the young child’s sake
Should have succumbed, for other’s innocence
Preserving a childhood dream of holy trinity

Passion is blind
Love is health
I was so sick with you, then and now still
So ill and festering, pestering each other to little deaths
Almost walked down a blind aisle over
Made a side escape on a mountain trail
The wedding bed on the side of the foothill

So blind
We lusted each other together for years
Lust wasn’t worth the tears
Then and now still
My eyesight is better w/o you
I can live w/o passion, w/o you
For a while
Though I miss it like a cigarette
I miss it w/ a glass of wine, or two
Been drinking too much wine lately
Then and now still
I miss it alone in bed at night
I miss sharing a joke to ease the time
I’ve become so self-contained
A ticking time bomb
Cool metal canister containing
Unseeing explosions
I’m imploding like a dark star all the time
And no witness, no unheard of amateur astronomer
Has yet observed this
No man-made instrument can capture this
Only angelic messengers who’ve seen it all before
They see and ignore
Then and now still