Embraces in Dreamtime

Could not live w/in the same proximity
Run everywhere into you in that mountain city
Uproot to another country
You find me in my dreams, in the shadows of my home
I expect to find you at my door if I get up to open it
I expect a long delayed message

The years of estrangement and abstinence mask hidden fidelity
I’m ever faithful to the truth, the effect of you on body memory
I know you act contrary to me, bed everyone in your periphery
Rid yourself unsuccessfully of me

You came into my dream again
Peace between us
I almost expect you to take a plane over the ocean and find my front door
Unlike the many times before
That time and separation might of turned you into a superhero
Confident, whole, forgiven and ready to father
Wishful thinking for familiar reconciliation
The blessings of higher powers have laid their hands and anointed me
I’ve come full circle turned inside out
Find freedom taking responsibility
For my culpability
Rejecting you again in your need

I never loved you, ‘tho I tried, I wanted to
I was young and resented all the times I tried harder than you
Seeped into my whole view, seeped into yours too
Now after looking back, like Zeus and the top ten f/Olympus
Look down on mortals, I can scan through the nebulosity and sympathize
Go back to your need masked by Minotaur disguise
Take your hand lead you out of the labyrinth of your torture
Follow the string and unwind everything
Keep it from spinning out of control, keep us together for our Persephone
Go back to your need, your fear,
Care not only for your body, your hungers to feed or your company
But really attend to your inner journey
Love you in your state of emergency

I didn’t understand the contest of needs
Whose need was more precedent
All childishness, immaturity
I wish I could go back w/recent insight
For one night and sooth your soul
Give up my control
Really love you, love the broken fragments back together
Your lawyer called it a ‘lover’s tiff’ but it was worse
The annexation of a broken generation
I’d go back to a lover’s tiff if you’re willing to resume friendly relations

You were calling for help
I feel your tears through the space
Your soul fingers reach out and find me left handed
Feel the weight of choices on me, the good and bad what we never had
I smell it in the air, aware of peace
Aware for the first time of an inkling of your view
What you might be telling those close to you
How you rationalize abandoning your daughter
How you might poorly comfort yourself
When I’m here and for once fully equipped and willing
To offer you comfort

And our story is unbroken, untold and unfinished
Burning like tectonic plates beneath the surface of our consciousness
Soon eruptions of magma fountains will expand the shorelines
And bridge the gap between us
I’ll never give up on you the way you gave up on me

Dream of healing and what could have been
What’s happening, the beginning of my personal reconciliation
End the cosmic frustration, be this new creation
All these years I’ve processed forgiving you
It took an hour, a drive in the car, a chat w/ a star
To understand I had to forgive myself for turning my back on you
Being together in my dream, finding my true home
Chest on chest, rib on rib, the puzzle pieces reassembled
And all the inner particles regenerate

Living in Ghost Month

You ran like from a ghost avoid me
Like the plague
Almost comical this new energy I yield
Like psychic armor from the ardor of
Recent travel conquest

Feel the change in frequency
Eyes locked w/Medusa’s, this intimacy
She’s failed to reduce you to minerals

Run, run back to your motherland
Your head spinning, trying to understand
Unfinished conversations that’ll never be
Turn your back on growth, on opportunity
Your fear is real-
I’d eat you for breakfast and spit out the bones for the scavengers
(In the end you’d thank me
 For your new incarnation.)

Cosmic Gong in Gaelic

I dreamed of you before we met, before the journey of our introduction
Just a refrain from my psyche to my consciousness to awaken from this catatonic life
The folksong of betrothal and true love
I sang it on the stage of my dream in the melody of your presence
Then I dreamed of you again a medieval prince singing in Gaelic
Singing “Arise and Dress Yourself”
Just a refrain from my spirit to my awareness to awaken from this indifferent life
Your blond Queen mother sang harmony infusing you
You were glowing internally, enable you, filling you w/True Light
She a kind of conduit, a preparation hymn you were both kneeling and robed
Just a refrain from my essence to my realization, awaken from this introspective life

Our goodbye was like a cosmic gong, I was ripped open and exposed for what I am
A coward with many masks, armed for impending attack, like the princess in the tower
No one is here to throw their robe around me so I will follow your tune and dress myself
The vibration of the gong shifted my equilibrium, taught me I cant do this alone
I sit here and anticipate for safe people to bring me back to community

Fully born the day we parted

Fully born the day we parted
In gushing tears laced w/fears of being discovered premature
Relief in material excuse, any excuse to explain the public lamentation
I didn’t cry for lack of money, but lack of you, this comfortable camaraderie
You know me long enough
I care not for the visible, only divine communion
I stood like a crying statue
In front of the elephant sculpture 3 member family
Mirroring the moments of our like companionship

Question if it’s really you or what you symbolize, our lack
You dropped out of heaven like a brother and loved my daughter
How could not my core come all undone as old walls started to crumble?
Such a waste finding pride all this time in being self-contained
In this loneliness, this wasteland where I mother
Where my body and heart is buried and laid

Under your mosquito net

Allow myself under your mosquito net
Tell you all my secrets at your bedside
Like innocent children, sexless yet sensing it
Confess on the empty paradise beach my broken heartedness
Free from judgment or expectation, yet I expected consummation
Fear it like a plague, this intimacy
Need it like the earth needs morning dew upon it
Scratching the wounds being bit w/this togetherness
And all my bites are nearly healed, the last fragments of devotion